About Me
As A chid, having undergone abuse at the hands of my Gardener left me feeling as though I was purposed for distraction.
Growing up and facing more abuse that lead me down a path of sexual immorality, drugs alcohol and depression, I knew that there was a God, but I also knew that I could not approach Him.
I felt like that samaritan woman at Jacobs well, a sinner, fornicator and one unworthy of talking to or being in the presence of certain people in the society let alone Jesus.
Reading about that moment when Jesus asked this woman for water at Jacobs well, we learn much about the protocols, traditions and expectations of man towards, women and people.
The samaritan woman, because of how she lived her life, could not even come to fetch water with others, she came at a time when no one else was around. I could feel her shame, her loneliness, and a bit of an attitude that a touch of prideful aggression that dared her to come out at all. I recall my own aggression, a toughness that dared people to try me, judge me as though they knew what I had been through, and all in all trying to avoid them because of the shame of the things I had been through that I could not bare for anyone to know about. A shame that felt like I had been stripped naked and made to walk to the well, to clean myself.
Jacobs well, not only represents, mans ways and judgement but also Gods grace. In that even though Jesus knew the rules, the code of conduct, he spoke to the woman, and he offered her Life, Ever living water. That would ensure she would never thirst again, would never feel empty and need to go for any man to keep her company, could never feel unworthy, never feel the shame of having to deal with mens judgement because she had been cleansed.
Jacobs well for me is where Judgement, meets grace. It is the point and position that is the daily, encounters and talks with God and the place where my cup is filled to overflow. On days I am down, on days I am hard on myself, not recalling the love of God, on days when the devil reminds me who I was and what I did, on days when my mind is not right, on days I am in doubt and thinking as mere men do I come to this point, where I call Jacobs well, where I open my bible, where I pray, where I pick up my pen and have conversations with God.
Jacobs well, is that point of refreshing, that place of Grace that place where I know I am a sinner but also know I am forgiven. Where I know I am human but that I am also a child of God.
May your cup also be filled as I share my conversations.
Thitu
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