The covering of you

Remembering and Missing You, Baba: Reflections on Loss and God's Covering

They say you don't know what you have till it's gone. How true that has been for us, Baba, since you have been gone. When they say "provider," they really mean it. I don't know how you made ends meet, how you managed and juggled it all. I can hear the concern in Mum's voice when each day there is something that needs paying for. How easy it was for her to say what she needed to get done and for you to just send the provision. The covering of you over all she needed.

When they say "protector," that is an understatement. You literally put a roof over our heads. As the rains are here now, so are the leaks in various parts of the roof. It's not something I would see when you were around because you took care of it. Not to say that Mum is not on it—she is. Oh, you would be so proud. It just does not seem as easy as you made it appear. We were tucked away safely from the storms of life under the covering of you.

I miss you. I miss you so much. I recall the last day we were together, the last day I lay my head on your chest like I used to. Only this time, you did not have the strength to put your hand over me, around me, to cover me. You were slipping away, I could see it, and I thought I was ready. I told you we would be alright. The covering of you filled us with certainty because you were on it.

I know now that I greatly underappreciated you. I know we talked daily, and I told you I loved you. I thanked you for the father you were, the man you were, but I had no clue the extent of what that meant. What being our father meant, and being the man you were meant. Papa, you shielded us, protected us through so much, and even when the world beat down on you, you still came home and loved on us. With you standing guard, we never knew or felt the weight of the world, or the cruelty and pain of its blows. That was the covering of you.

Is it too late to say thank you? To say that we still desperately need you, your leadership, your wisdom?

Abba, Lord, is it true what your word says? That you are Father to the fatherless and Husband to the widow? It must be, for you do not lie. I know you watch over your word to perform it. Please, please, God, do. We have no father, Mum has no husband, and boy, do we feel it. Papa, my God, let us hide ourselves and be kept under the covering of You.

Bible Verses for Comfort and Protection

Psalm 68:5: "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."

Isaiah 54:5: "For your Maker is your husband—the Lord Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth."

Psalm 91:1: "Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

Psalm 23:4: "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."