There comes a time

its been exactly months since Dad passed away. I had imagined that as time passed by I would get better, but thats not the case. I seem to have entered a dark and sad place. Not dark because it is empty of Light, no for my God is always with me. Dark becasue it is a place not many wont to be, its absent of life and joy. There come s time after death when the loved one is gone and whats left is sorrow. That time is now

I find lifes expectations to not have changed, as though somehow, my day to day activities didnt get the memo. The dishes, dinner, being a wife and mother ..they all dont seem to have noticed that my father died. They sit in expectation of me to be and do the same. How can I? I am not the same, my life will never be the same. There comes a time when Life will carry on, but for now can i just stop and let it all sink in?

How do i get the scream on the inside of me to come out without it breaking everything around me? " its like life is expected to just go on." I said. "yes, it is" "it must" they say. I know it does and I know it must but I also know there comes a time... a time to laugh, a time to cry a time to mourn a time to dance and we cannot skip time or rush it.

I got to and had to watch my father die. This is a blessing and a curse as on the one hand i got to spend time with him, telling him how wonderful a father he was, I got to say goodbye. On the other hand how cruel can God be to allow me to see and bare witness of the man I loved so dearly waste away and not be able to do anything about it? There comes a time when we question, when we wonder, when we ask why and thats alright with God.

Though we walk throught he valley of the shadow of death, He does truly comfor me. Yes death has come and dath has taken what He was after, but his stech lingers on. I still walk this valley, i still feelt he shadow of death eventhough He hides me under the shadow of His wings. There comes a time when we, we cant go on, when we are down and when he lifts us up.

there comes a time, a time to mourn,I am not sure how long it lasts but I know as long as it is here, His rod and staf comfort me. He binds up by broken heart and rubs His healing balm over it.

There comes a time to be still and know that He is God.